Self-Talk is Your 24/7 Technology

Self -Talk is Your Life-Altering Technology

BRIGHTERSTEP in the Malibu Hills

The Shalom Institute is off of Mulholland highway in the Malibu hills. Early Saturday morning we took off in that direction from San Diego. Our plan was to spend the morning with Stacey J. Warner, certified Equus and Life Coach and Sandra Dee Robinson, founder of, and super savvy Media Coach in their “Leadership Communication through Horses intimate experience”.

BRIGHTERSTEP at Equus Leadership Communication

Nature doesn’t lie. Horses don’t lie. In fact, they will reveal everything they perceive about you through their body language and behavior. That is where the certified Equus Coach enters. I stepped into the round pen and Stacey translated the behavior and response of the horse to my presence, my non-verbal communication, my self-talk, and leadership. We were given a red wisp of a weightless reed as the only tool beyond our energy to lead the horse under Stacey’s direction.

I love and respect horses. I do not know horses. This was the first time I was alone with an unbridled  horse in a round pen. What would unfold?

“To stand for a while uncomplicated and open is like a shot of youth serum, it feels beautiful and childlike. Granted, it seems impossible to live in this space with the daily whirl of life as a business owner or busy parent. However, just to know the healing value of deliberate slowing and communicating with simplicity is, well, powerful. With practice, relationships can be enhanced, strengthened and healed sometimes without saying a word.” – Sandra Dee Robinson

Things went well once Stacy made it clear to the training horse, Cowboy, that his job was to be in the round pen and not endanger himself by grazing through the fence. Cowboy trotted and walked as I turned, walked, made clicking sounds and jiggled my reed. That felt good and “successful” …then for some “don’t ask me why reason”  I wanted to see how necessary the reed was in this process.  I dropped the reed in the center.

A big chunk of my life -30 years- was applied to managing, mentoring and leading people in businesses I founded.  Symbols of my authority were always present. A few years ago after exiting a business that grew to serve 60,000 clients and employing 250 people over a decade, all those 24/7 enduring symbols disappeared with a life shift to uncharted territory.

In the round pen Cowboy easily responded to my presence with a trot and a walk. When I dropped the red reed our relationship changed. Cowboy, ignored my direction. I felt invisible and my clicking sounds seemed inaudible. 

BRIGHTERSTEP with Stacey J. Warner

Stacey observed that I had confused Cowboy when I dropped the reed and he stopped perceiving me as the leader. That observation made me wonder … I am sending mixed signals in other areas of my life?

In reflection I asked myself: What is the reed? At first thought it seemed like a symbol or signal of authority. Something to hold purposefully, clearly and firmly. 

Then the “aha” came through: For me the realization is that the reed is actually my intention. The reed is heart energy to hold openly, purposefully and clearly in a way that others can see it, believe it and trust it.
There in the round pen I came face to face with mistaken self-perceptions and self-talk about my life and recent “loss” of the visible symbols of authority and responsibility. (I don’t know how I could  overlook my still present “experience wrinkles” as relevant symbols!) The idea of “authority” began to shift:

We each have Author-ability  (authority) in our own life.

 Author-ability (authority) is intention.  

  Intention is a verb, it is a highly powered form of self-talk and action.

I am working on my 5th startup project. The startup wisdom and technologies from this experience are here in the form of questions:
“What are my true intentions with this project?”  
“How am I clearly revealing these intentions today?” 
“What am I doing that consistently demonstrates my intention?” i.e. How will a horse or anyone else know or trust my intentions? 😉

Exposing your self-talk, self-perceptions and non-verbal communications to a coaching process with a certified Equus and Life Coach will change your relationship to your startup, your organization and, most importantly, yourself. 

As always the quality and intention of the coach matters. Watch a master of non-verbal communication and leadership at work in a round pen with a beautiful horse here:
Does this mean that language and self-talk is a technology?  I suppose that depends on how “technology” is defined.

If the definition is this one:  “The application of knowledge to the practical aims of human life or to changing and manipulating the human environment…”,  then yes, language is a type of technology and self-talk is your 24-7 technology.

When you are changing your self-talk you’ll find tools that help at:  BRIGHTERSTEP.

 BRIGHTERSTEP at Shalom Institute

                                                    And … I can reveal your self-talk.

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